Wives' Club Member Gifts

'The first wives club'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

I think you're ace

'Hole in one!!!!'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Where's my horse?'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Men drinking

'That takes you into double figures and we're not off the tee yet!'

'You're away, Doc!'

Golf Hil Divot

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

'First time I've seen the club go farther than the ball.'

'Alert the troops I'm going back to work.'

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

"...And when you turn eighteen, you go over to the dark side, like Mom and Dad."

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

"I hate sand traps."

Bill finally receives a celery commensurate with his responsibilities.

"You're pregnant? Are you sure it's yours?"

Rory McIlroy

'I think we'd better work on that swing.'

'Wash balls here.'