Witty Relatives Gifts

'There's one other thing. Your Aunt left you this, it's a nasty aftertaste.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Children's Party

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

Stockwell's day

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

"My once perky chicken breasts hang like flapjacks, I don't lay eggs anymore, I'm burning up with hot flashes, I'm...."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

'Did you find any clothes?'

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

"Yes, it was 'love at first sight'. But, by the time I'd made my first opticians appointment we were already married."

'I don't know what these dots are ... but ya mind if I connect them?'

'Another hike in college tuition! The costs are already killing my folks!'

Christmas reunions!

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

"What's a good time for dinner, let's sync up our calendars..."

"Thanks so much for letting me crash here, I really appreciate how unassertive you are."

"No, I thought YOU put the picnic basket in the car."

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

'Can we just do this pass-fail?'

A Family Group - Baby Stirring the Pudding

Mythical Family of Four

'A 1982 bottle of KMart Beaujolais Nouveau? You shouldn't have, really. I mean you really, really shouldn't have...really.'

Samurai offspring.

"You should join us for Thanksgiving."

"My husband would get out and change the tire, but he has a lug nut allergy."