Witty Fitness Fan Pillows

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Yoga for Alcoholics

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

On the back of the t-shirt...

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Sisyphus during Covid

Exercise Bars

"I run around this high school track every morning."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

Keep Fit.

Reasonableman

Old Karate Master

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"This old bike of mine has sure lost some if its speed over the years."

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Let's see if mom likes that super comfortable yoga mat we bought her."

Oh boy, lucky you were there: I was cramping up. I need a few minutes rest if you don't mind...

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

'Hey, we have one of those. You hang your laundry on it.'

Fast Food Dieter

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."