Witty Dog Enthusiasts Pillows

Tinder for dogs

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"I was almost that last year."

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

Dog Bookends

A lesson in wit

Know-it-alls

RING! RING! RING!: 'Not the cell phone AGAIN!'

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

"So the old man says 'you're getting fixed,' and I'm thinkin', you know, maybe he's gonna patch up the hole in my doghouse..."

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

'Drop it! Drop the Lawsuit!'

'What are you doing?!'

'With Myrna and I, it was love at first slight.'

'Sorry, I don't carry cash, I'm married!'

"At work, they call me benchmark."

Scratch 'n' sniff edition...

"Go on. Throw the stick."

Dog sees venus fly trap catch a fly and copies it...

Hemingway's dog meets Faulkner's Dog.

"Let's try it again. This time with a tad less mania."

'I know I have a name to live by, but I'd rather wear sandals in summer...'

'Sorry, we serve beer in glasses only. Not in the toilet flush.'

"At last, legislation allows cats and dogs to share the same litter box."

When the breeder sold Steve ‘a great game dog,' he didn't mention that the dog's great game was on-line poker.

'I never know when you're joking!'

"I just got accepted to Yale." "I'd jump up and down for joy but my boobs are just way too big for that nonsense."

"He's my discomfort animal."

'Best bear dog I ever had.'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'