Witty Diners Pillows

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'I say Madam, I prefer my soup bald!' (Victor Hugo, Notre-Dame de Paris)

"How can you be out of wings?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Can I have flies with that'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Sushi Train Spotters

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

Big Boy Foot

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

'Tasty.'

Chicken Coupe.

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."

"I'll have the chef."

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

Hard Rock Cafe.

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'Waiter there's a mouse in my soup.'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

'I'll have a BLT sandwich -- hold the 'B'.'

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"