Witty Diners Prints

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

'I say Madam, I prefer my soup bald!' (Victor Hugo, Notre-Dame de Paris)

"How can you be out of wings?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'Can I have flies with that'

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

You're pig-headed, Louis, I like that in a man.

Sushi Train Spotters

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

Big Boy Foot

'Tasty.'

"Hey! Waiter! This is a dessert wine!"

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

Chicken Coupe.

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."

"We have sparkling and still, but I'll have to ask if we have black."

"I'll have the chef."

'For obvious reasons the chowder's made with chicken and pork.'

'I'll have the duck ? l'orange, without the duck, of course.'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that much of a surprise.'

"They loved the food and service. But they hated the font we used in the menu."

'I'll have a BLT sandwich -- hold the 'B'.'

Frank 'n' Steins...beer & bratwurst (chef Frankenstein).

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

"Keep pouring. I'm a masochist."

"Is that your 'God Bless America' or mine?"