Witty Dining Fan Prints

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"What did Jesus order?"

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

Our Troubled Chowders

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Fast Food Restaurant

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

Sudoku toilet paper

Salad Hat

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

I recommend the ketchup.

"Have you folks eaten here before, or shall I explain the concept?"

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

Milly's Home-Style Restaurant

"Excuse me, but I ordered the 'cage-free' eggs!"

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

Customer admires courtyard of bagel shaped restaurant.

Slow food.

Today's special: Roadkill stew.

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

"I don't want any pie, so can I get Ice Cream A La Mode!"

'I say Madam, I prefer my soup bald!' (Victor Hugo, Notre-Dame de Paris)