Witty Conversation Appreciator Gifts

"Don't worry, he poses no danger. Whenever he approaches, I bring up the topic of politics. To him that's worse than hunger."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Touché"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Crow and fox

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

Jokes machine.

The Algonquin Round Table

'Mom can I have another apple?'

The Gilmore Girls

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

Bat out of Hell

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

When Stupid People Get an Idea

"So, what is your star sign?"

Cold caller.

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

"Try the fish. It's brain food"

'My favorite position? Chairperson of the Board.'

"I don't think you can claim that Martin Amis plaguerised your work just because you both used the words 'to','if' and 'but' on page 46."