Witty Commentary Fan Gifts

Businessman: 'I'm only paid enough to think inside the box.'

Surrealism Circle

'A cheeky red?'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

A lady playing piano and a man talking to her

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

I break for toilet paper

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"This guy looks like he's really out of touch."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Alpha males through the ages!

'She's dealing multiple prescriptions. This is the 3rd pharmacy today where she got these highly addictive Chocolate Bits.'

How Will They Manage without Us?

'Twigs... great, that'll be comfortable.'

"She's genetically modified, you know."

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

"It's true she's back to the same weight she was on her wedding day, but remember that she was 9 months pregnant with triplets then..."

The tree of liberty can survive only so much grafting.

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"I hear you're something big in the city?"

Do you believe in money at first sight?

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

People want as much government as they deserve.

"International Women's Day... When do men get their day?"

Bureaucrats Resting On Hercules Soldier.

"They don’t seem to mind us — it's the humans they want to keep away."

"I'm crossing the road to keep my social distance."

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

QANON PROUD BOY

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

Death to Stultophobia