Witty Chore Avoider Gifts

"Mom said mopping up my snow tracks is a good start for my bucket list."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

A man washing a mascot costume

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

It's Your Turn to Do the Dishes Tonight!

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

'You should agree with me, but not all the time, Try mixing it up a little,'

'If you want to get some exercise, carry this out to the garbage.'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

"It's your turn to shovel the perch."

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

'Since you were late to work so often, we should have given the watch when you started 43 years ago.'

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

"Sorry Mrs. Tate. There's no cure for Not-Taking-Out-The-Garbage-Itis."

Why do chicks dig vampires? They're forbidden, immortal. They have unimaginable strength. They visit at night, bringing wisdom and sensuality. And if they don't take out the trash or mow the lawn you can burn them to death with sunlight! Yikes. They can get housework done while I sleep.

'It's your night to catch dinner.'

'When I said you will get an office with windows, I was referring to the operating system on the computer.'

Kid sweeps dirt under his junk on the floor.

"We have a lot in common. We both hate homework, vegetables, bedtime, chores, long car trips. . ."

"Uh, it's the funniest thing honey... None of my power tools seem to work! I guess those projects will have to wait..."

"They don't look like the tools you'll need to put the kitchen shelves up with!"

'Got'a be done I s'pose.'

'It's nothing personal. It's just that going after your job is in my job description.'

'I know you're sensitive, Wally, but I only asked you to help wash the dishes!'

'Well, you told me not to walk through the kitchen in muddy boots!'

'He claims to be a recovering workaholic.'

Safety First.

"The cat cleaned the birdcage."

"Unfortunately, my wife knows me like a book. She's a librarian."

U.S. Mint. I think we deserve a raise --- Our productivity is certainly up!

A gymnast balances her laundry on her leg.

"It's my "To-Do" list if I ever get the energy..."

"Not to complain but you promised to mow the lawn."