Witchy Wellness Warriors Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Hot Pie Therapy

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'