Witchy Wellness Warriors Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

"Your contents have shifted."

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Burnout Syndrome...

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'What are you eating now?'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."