Wit And Wisdom Appreciator Gifts

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Czarcasm

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Voltaire

Loopholes

K9 Literati.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

Scale indicates the value of books.

'I wish I could be around when you're my age. I'd like to see that fashion statement with an adult diaper showing.'

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

Figure of Eight

My arms are tired, too – I'm starting to think this whole evil thing isn't temporary.

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Ten Commandments T-Shirt

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

Bit on the Side

Inn and Outt.

Poet and Peasant