Wise Owl Gifts

'I'm getting older? What do you mean by that?...I want a second opinion!'

'Why would anyone want to be an old age pensioner sooner rather than later?'

"None of this would have happened if we had minded our own beeswax."

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."

Aging Support Group

"You must learn to fight temptation: the only businesses open at night tend to be bars and nightclubs..."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Overworked in the office

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

'The only part of my body that defies gravity is my age.'

Busy day at the office.

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Lost and Profound.

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

On Holiday

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"You should do something brilliant, before it's too late."

Time to Call Workaholics Anonymous.

'There's no charge for the advice and wisdom, but I would eventually like those jumper cables returned!'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'...On the other hand - the examined life sucks too.'

Bad times for retirees.