Wisdom Watcher Gifts

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Feel free to take notes."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"It's called American acceptionalism. We grab more and more of the country's wealth and 99% of Americans just continue to accept it."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Higher wisdom...

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

"Life's a lottery - That's why you need balls"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'You must heal yourself.'

Beyond the known and the unknown.

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"