Wisdom Of Age Pillows

"If I had a penny for every dollar I had, I'd have two cents."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'Oh, crap.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Saguaro Cactus Regrets.

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

Senior PGA Moment.

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."

"Like my old man used to say: 'No news is bad news not yet undelivered.'"

Mall of ages

Balding Autumn Tree.

The Meaning of Life

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"More aphorisms, please!"