Age And Wisdom Pillows

Senior PGA Moment.

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I'm here for the hair."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

The Meaning of Life

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

Realizing that his youth was now behind him, Mr. Twigly left home at the sight of his first gray hare.

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

"Like my old man used to say: 'No news is bad news not yet undelivered.'"

"Do you know the biggest thing I've learned in my thirty nine years?"

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"More aphorisms, please!"