Wise Old Souls Pillows

Old man talking about how his attitude to politics has changed with age

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

"To listen to your instincts, press one."

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Are you our new glue-ru?'

'It will save us time if you don't tell me what still works and and what doesn't hurt.'

The Ageing Process.

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

Having a senior moment

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

"Relax, at your age it's perfectly natural to make groaning noises every time you move a body part."

"Don't bother complaining about anything to granddad...he'll just say 'these are the best days of your life!!!'"

"Remember anything recently?"

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'Grandpa says there's more to life than what you see on TV. He must not have cable.'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'Mommy and Daddy have taken care of the high cost of private school tuition. The rest is up to you.'

"Some days I wake up and feel so old..."

"The new year will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, and it will feel strikingly similar to the old year."

"TIa Carmen, what would you do if you had your life to live over again?"

'Our little 'birds and bees' talk went really well. I learned quite a lot.'

"A kiss will make your boo-boo feel better...but my remedio of cayenne pepper and sugar will cure it!"