Wisdom Critic Gifts

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'Oh, crap.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"Tia Carmen, did you ever wish summer was over...so you could be in school?"

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

Gold versus Knowledge

One can hardly be expected to solve the riddle of existence without a computer

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"I, too, hate being a greedy bastard, but we have a responsibility to our shareholders."

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

'Let's have some fun - Let's order from that place that guarantees pizza delivery in thirty minutes!'

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."

"Like my old man used to say: 'No news is bad news not yet undelivered.'"

"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS CLOSE AND YOUR ENEMIES CLOSER, 'That kind of thinking leads to marriage.'

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

The Meaning of Life

The Book of 'Everything You Need To Know.'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

"More aphorisms, please!"