Winning A Major Award Pillows

"It was just that one time that you won the Nobel Prize, wasn't it, dear?"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Award Winning Gardener

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Win - win

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"Eureka! Details to follow."

Soccer coach of the year.

"So that's where you were last night."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

Zdeno Chara

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

Employee of the month...

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'