Winning A Major Award Gifts

"It was just that one time that you won the Nobel Prize, wasn't it, dear?"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Award Winning Gardener

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Cat Show

Win - win

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

Soccer coach of the year.

"So that's where you were last night."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"Eureka! Details to follow."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Zdeno Chara

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

"Thank you, everyone: now I'd like to introduce all the folks who made this possible for me!"

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'