Award Recipient Gifts

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"As a way of expressing our thanks, we offer this modest honorarium."

Buisness Man Of The Year Award - Pssst! He's just been arrested by the serious Fraud Squad.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Award Winning Gardener

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Cat Show

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

Win - win

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

"So that's where you were last night."

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Zdeno Chara

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'