Awards Gifts

Team work.

"......And finally I'd like to thank my 5 brothers, 4 sisters, 3 uncles, 2 aunts, 23 nephews and nieces and 37 cousins."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

'Don't be too impressed -- he got it for surrendering.'

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

'I got that one for bravery.'

'Wait, my Lord! At least stay for the mad, bad and dangerous to know category!'

"Help keep my Oscar hopes alive."

Heath & Safety Executive employee of the month.

"It's rigged."

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'No, Corporal Shirley - You don't get a Purple Heart for a broken fingernail!'

An Inconcievable, Inexcusable, Incomprehensible Truth.

'...And here to receive a belated lifetime achievement award.'

'...and I'd like to thank my dear old Mother for kicking me in the backside when I needed it!'

Accountancy Awards - "And the winner is..."

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"And here is the winning board of the year."

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

'And now for BEST MOVIE ERODING AMERICA'S MORAL VALUES...'

'We'll parachute in and surprise them with their sales award.'

Ms. Walsh, I'll be unavailable today...I'm spending it with my ego wall.

'I declare this envelope...open!'

"I won an award from my club! I'm the only member who doesn't owe membership dues."

BAFTA/Oscar lack of diversity

"Ah, here's some good news, Mr. Gormley. It seems you've been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame."

"I would like to thank my owners, my trainer, my jockey, and everyone else in my stable, without whom my victory would not have been possible."

"Yes, the award is shaped like a pyramid, but I prefer the term Ponzi."

And the trophy goes to Frank and only Frank

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

Actor's Stereo System.