Winning Awards Gifts

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Award Winning Gardener

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Win - win

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Gymnasts falling off the winners pedestal.

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

"Eureka! Details to follow."

First Prize!

"So that's where you were last night."

Soccer coach of the year.

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

Shy goalie smiles under umbrella in victory downfall of streamers

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Zdeno Chara

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...