Wink At The Microwave T-Shirts

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the head and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Stupid Microwave

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

Tortoise and the Hare

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"When you say "Someone doesn't know how to put a paper towel over a bowl of chili to re-heat in the nuker", I know you mean me."

"When I called you an idiot I meant it in the nicest possible way."

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

'Forget tradition! This thing can boil eye of newt in 15 seconds!'

'What TV dinner goes best with a sitcom?'

"Quick, get it while its molecules are still vibrating."

"The atoms are burned on the outside but still ice-cold in the middle."