Wink At The Microwave Gifts

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the head and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Stupid Microwave

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"If I had a restaurant, it would be called the Can and Microwave"

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

A Lesson in Leadership: Misplacing your keys isn't a problem, unless you have to enlist the whole school's support to find them.

Tortoise and the Hare

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

Microwave Popcorn. Other side up. Whatever you do, do not go in the sauna.

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

"Compliments to the chef. It really is superbly cooked!"

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"When you say "Someone doesn't know how to put a paper towel over a bowl of chili to re-heat in the nuker", I know you mean me."

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

"When I called you an idiot I meant it in the nicest possible way."

"You're just pushing my buttons about all-microwave cooking ... aren't you?"

The future Bill Gates about to be conceived.

"The atoms are burned on the outside but still ice-cold in the middle."

'What TV dinner goes best with a sitcom?'

'Forget tradition! This thing can boil eye of newt in 15 seconds!'

"Quick, get it while its molecules are still vibrating."

'It looks like a lot, but I microwave it throughout the week.'