Wink Decipherer Gifts

"That's why, I always recommend amateurs just ignore all winks."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

Don't forget to read the small print.

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"You may enter, doctor, if you can read this prescription."

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

"There you go kid. If you have a monster he can't get out now."

'Prophetic dream, no chance! You lying on a plate, surrounded by vegetables? That can only be symbolic.'

For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

Last chance for dream analysis.

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

"When I called you an idiot I meant it in the nicest possible way."

Dreams of Grandeur

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'And this is the small print in your travel insurance...'

"I just had a horrible dream - I was wallowing in apple sauce."

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."