Wink Expert Gifts

I think Armstrong was coming on to me just now. 'Cause he was winking at you? The meaning of a wink depends entirely on context, little buddy. It could mean anything from "I want your body" to "I want you to dispose of this body." As someone who's dated several ladies of the mafia, trust me when I say it's sometimes tough to discern the difference. That's why I always recommend amateurs just ignore all winks. Ok.

In the Guru District

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'People have been known to lose an eye when a wink goes seriously wrong.'

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

"I'm just having fruit for dinner. Well, mostly grapes. OK, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

A boy and his spin patrol.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

Creator's Block

Second aid

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

'That's a tough question. I suppose I should be served with a dry red.'

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

Bird watching in Bolivia

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

'He's called that, because he keeps getting licked.'

"What would you serve with toast?"

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

A Good Year.

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

Let the profit-making begin!

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"When I called you an idiot I meant it in the nicest possible way."

Larry Was Into Fine Wines.

1784: Wigs are all the rage

'Yes dear, I was in a hurry to get home, why?'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

'Well, if you must run your fingers through my hair.'

'Perfect.'