Winged Wit Appreciator Pillows

"I thought bad-hair days would be a thing of the past."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Cat Burglar

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Voltaire

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

Big business is not evil

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

Parrot

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

Pick your own fruit or worms.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

Starving Artist Show has paintings of food.

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Figure of Eight

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

'Doctor, you've removed leg bands before, haven't you?'