Winged Channel Surfer Gifts

Man sees 'Birdwatchers Society' is a society of birds watching television.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Would you like some wings?"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Turtle Hat

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Check your universal remote control at the door.

TV-Man

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"This next song is just a song. Try not to read anything into it."

Jimi Hendrix.

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

How I met your mother

'Now ask yourself Gerald, do we really need ALL these channels?'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'Welcome to digital - you now have more of what you didn't want than you ever thought possible!'

"I never saw 'Cheers,' so I won't miss 'Cheers.'"

Remote control wars.

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

"In da house"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"And here's one I made up called 'Mama's Last Nerve.'"

'500 channels...surely there must be something worth watching.'