Wing Enthusiast Gifts

"After state and federal, you get just one wish, and it's half -off chicken wings."

"How can you be out of wings?"

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

So you're a mocking bird...

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

Canada Goose Jackets

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Swinging

"Just don’t tell the other vultures. I’ll never hear the end of it."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

"Recalculating route..."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Spring Training

Cat tries to reach a birdfeeder on stilts.

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'