Wine Whiner Gifts

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

In the Guru District

Pete Townshend Vineyards

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Wine Lady

Gardener attacked by plants.

Yoga for Alcoholics

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

French wine

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"I make it myself!"

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Things I've learned...

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

A couple sit in front of their RV drinking wine while looking at birds sitting in front of a a small RV in a tree also drink wine.

"I only need shade for my wine."

Feast

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"We love each other very much, and we concur on alcohol and coffee. But we're unable to come to an agreement on meat and fish."