Wine Whisperer Gifts

"O.K., Everybody. Stand back! Let it breathe."

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'Don't tell me, I know this one. Is it wine?'

'You know, I always buy supermarket cava rather than fancy Champagne, and I challenge anyone to tell the difference.'

"Drinking? Who's drinking? I'm antioxidizing."

'I've tried it - it's a 94.3829366, at best.'

"Are you really sure we're supposed to give points for sound?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

'Yeah, I think it has too much tannin, too.'

"Any advance on 'cat wazz'?

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'This wine is liberal bordering on the reckless. Bring me something more capitalist.'

'Maybe it's the wine talking but you look as good today as the day I first settled for you.'

Wine Lover

'Could I just get one that's wine flavored?'

'You got a wine that will go well with bullshit?'

"I just read it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert on a given subject. Janet, start the clock and bring me a glass."

"This wine is pretty bold, Johnson. Are we having a problem with authority?"

Welcome to my cellar!

"Would monsieur prefer a nice unassuming red or the bad boy of the cellar?"

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

"That's between me and my vintner."

'Inform your grandfather that dropping a Buffalo wing into his Chateauneuf-du-Pape does not qualify as a 9-1-1 emergency.'

'She barely gives the Chateau Haut Brion a chance to breath.'

'He was letting the wine breathe. But it got a whiff of his cologne and suddenly died.'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

"Wine is plant-based food."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"The full bodied merlot covers up the stench nicely."

'The nice thing about my wine library is, I can't accidentally leave it on the bus.'

'Can you recommend something that will make my date sound interesting.'

What year is this? Pardon? Aromatic. Full-bodied. Very approachable. Buttery. Swish swish swish. Yet with aggressive undertones, and an unforgiving aftertaste. Acidic after all. I should like another year. Something crisp yet dry. It's instant decaf coffee brewer with tap water! He's quite aggressive. And not so full-bodied. Pretentious people stink.

Last wine bar before suburbia

"Gail is so into wine that during sex last night she screamed, 'Robert Mondavi.'"