Wine-o-clock Warrior Gifts

"..and he's bringing his friend who has a six pack!"

The Vineyard

Yoga for Alcoholics

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Karen's idea of wine reduction..."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Portfolio, 2011

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'I'm doing a wine tasting course, it's fascinating. . .'

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

Whiskey wars

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

A high wire act walks over to a bottle of wine.

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'I think we're all safe now. Go ahead and say spatlese.'

"Do you have something for somebody with no palette, no taste and no money?"

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'Really, Bob, the Wine Fairy?'

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

'My first day in our vineyard wasn't a total loss, honey. I found two pennies.'

Liquor Store - Gift Suggestions.

"My husband makes this wine."