Wine Merchant Gifts

"Charles, would you be my vintner?"

"What do you have in investment-grade reds?"

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

"Try our Austrian wines."

"I'm prescribing an over-the-counter relaxer. Your local wine merchant can fill it for you."

'Another 'last bottle' for the display, when you're ready.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Sold! $287,500 to bidder #349!'

"Barman....hic....I asked for a dry white wine... this one's wet!"

"Where do you keep your diet soda?"

'Ooh, this is an old one. I'll bet it's worth its weight in oil.'

'Thanks, I found the cheesecloth. Can you recommend a nice wine to serve with it?'

'He's returning the Madeira because it's maderized.'

'Can you recommend a wine that will go well with the Burkes?'

'That's one of our fortified wines.'

'If nothing else, you've got to admire their candor.'

Fred red read wine has lots of benefits, including longer life!

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

Wino Appreciation Society

true love.

"You think of it as an expensive bottle of French wine... whereas, I see it as a cheap vacation."

"When we say Trendy Vineyards Merlot goes with everything, we mean everything - including the bottle it comes in."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great wines for under $5.00 a bottle.'

"Actually, we don't sell much Viognier, but the guy who sells me Viognier? -- that guy sells a lot of Viognier."

"What I enjoy most about sauvignon blanc is saying it."

"Of course, not everybody can face this kind of responsibility."

"This isn't just any old food wine. This is the foodies' food wine."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

Wine merchant convincing his customer that he has an extensive cellar

'We now stock wine bottles created by nanotechnology that are only 9 atoms tall. Table 6 wants a glass of merlot; open 8 million bottles.'

'Only 99 cents a gallon, but believe me, it tastes like it costs twice as much.'

'What goes with leftovers?' 'I have a bottle of dregs here someplace.'

'What goes good together?'