Wine List Expert Gifts

'Kids, you let them pick the wine once and they think they have the right to do it every time.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'A cheeky red?'

Bacchus.

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'... And this is my cellar.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I find that hugely offensive!"

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

F&E Diner. Beer. Wine. This wine paralyzes the taste buds --- It goes with anything!

Don Quixote

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Leo McKern

Yes. As a matter of fact he IS an indoor cat.

'Been toying with Bordeaux futures again, have we?'

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'