Wine Glass Collector Gifts

"Wine not?"

"To toast!"

Love wine

'A cheeky red?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

true love.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"Quick swig first?"

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Portfolio, 2011

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

Red Wine