Wine Collector Gifts

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"It must be good wine for twenty bucks a bottle!"

'Red for me, please.'

A Good Year.

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

Wine

Wine of the Day Club

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

Sauvignon Bonk

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'