Wine And Champagne Gifts

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Of course, the real joy of a de Sade Champagne comes later with the beating of the waiter with the bottle.'

Life and death.

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'A cheeky red?'

Bacchus.

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Sauvignon Bonk

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"He gets easily abstracted."

"I make it myself!"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."