Windows Gifts

"...his speech was slurred, his eyes were double-glazed..."

'Good morning, my name's Chadkins and I'm here to put the fun back into buying double glazing.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Shepherd and eurydice

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Robot Parts $5

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Ethics exam cheater.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

They hated me.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Butterfly Woman

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Louis Armstrong

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A Symphony of Penguins

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Remote control pirate bully

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"