Window Treatment Critic Gifts

"The place looks pretty good now, but I don't like the window treatments!"

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"You run into a window, too?"

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'The hardest thing is convincing the wife that when I'm staring out of the window I'm actually composing a tweet.'

"Turn down the bass."

'This is DESTROYING my manicure, Steve!'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

"A little high and inside."

"I take it this is why it's called Brickview Estates."

"The house needs to have comfortable window ledges. Lots of windows! And a fireplace!"

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

"Everytime he closes a door he opens a window. He's obsessed with airflow."

'Watch out! That stuff prevents streaking!'

"The bed sheet rope made me think plant hanger and then window treatment. It all just started coming together."

"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"

"It's one of the finest examples of a window I've ever seen!"

Complaints and Excuses.

"Good afternoon Sir. I was just passing and couldn't help wondering if you might be considering new double glazing?"

'Is this your son? We need to talk!'

"That was one GREAT salesman!"

"I had all of my windows replaced, before I realised my glasses were cracked."

'A little help!!'

"No A.C., but who needs it when you've got this kind of cross-ventilation?"

French windows.

Installing window treatments is a bit like being on a Broadway stage. I always get a thrill when the curtain goes up!

"Oh, I see you found my ball."

"Have you not considered upgrading to unleaded windows?"

Man glued to a shop window under a huge 'Closing down sale' poster

Don�t hang up, sir - you haven't got a wrong number.

Note: For cheap & speedy window repairs, call Jack's Glass Replacement Service.

'Bob's Window Repair' brick.