Wildlife Wordsmiths Gifts

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

Best Seller

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

A Poet

'He never listened to his mother!'

'Fancy a swift half?'

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

You trip on it, you buy it.

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

Tom Stoppard

Male On Sunday

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Bagel problems.

Bell Hop

You're Out Of Order

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."