Wildlife Wordsmiths Gifts

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Best Seller

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

A Poet

You trip on it, you buy it.

'He never listened to his mother!'

'Fancy a swift half?'

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

Sharp Eyes

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

Bell Hop

Tom Stoppard

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

"I just got a huge advance for my first novel. It's about a writer who gets a huge advance for his first novel."

Male On Sunday