Wildlife Witticist Pillows

"I may look goofy, bu I'm in the New York Times crossword puzzle way more than Alan Alda."

"Are you getting a signal up there?"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

Civilized Salmon

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

Crow and fox

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Saving for Retirement.

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'Fancy a swift half?'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

The cat's pyjamas - cat camouflage.

The polar bear's vending machine.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

'I don't see how you can breathe through that thing - it's so small!'