Wildlife Satirist Pillows

"I think it stands for, 'Please Eat the Activist,' which is exactly what I did!"

'It's the only way they can control his testosterone!'

"Hey Vincent, I got a certified letter today. Apparently the birds have reported us stalking them and have taken out a restraining order against us."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'Extinct' Passenger Pigeons Found in London

"Oh, I'll get away with it - they'll blame it on a deer hunter!"

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

"Eat me"

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Too much concealer?"

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

'I'm an atheist!'

Giraffe Portrait

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

Crow and fox

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'