Wildlife Satire Lover Pillows

'Well, yes, I guess so; the Warmington AR-20 could drop a man at 500 metres.'

'Good to see you're not one of the predators I have to worry about online...'

To lure you prey in, set an appropriate decoy.

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

"Too much concealer?"

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

Crow and fox

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

'I didn't have time to hunt'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

"Fasten your seat belt."

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

The polar bear's vending machine.

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

"I hate hibernating! All our devices need updating. And now we need to go through a thousand phone and text messages."