Wildlife Wits Pillows

'Wait 'til the last minute and jump to one side!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

Civilized Salmon

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

'Fancy a swift half?'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

A polar bear has slipped and is sprawled out on the ice next to a yellow caution sign that features a slipping figure.

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

Tourists viewing fake giraffes on safari

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

"Are you getting a signal up there?"

"Frank, you idiot! That's a Piñata."

'What are you doing?!'

"They're bifocal glasses: I can use them to read as well as to see long distance when I'm charging..."

Good duck, bad duck.

'Uh-Oh... I better watch my legs! There comes a cook - o - dile!'

The fox and the hen shelter under the same tree in the rain

'"Silent killer'?! That's your nickname? That's so cool Dad!"

'Best bear dog I ever had.'

"It looks as though we might be in for another cold snap."

Recycled humor.

"So, how do we do this?"

"We need to find the packs of filtered cigarettes."

What a lovely night breeze!

'We're counting on you, Luther. The game's to 21, winner's outs... And I hope we don't need to remind you what happens to all of us if you lose.'

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

"Does state game law require me to tag him?"

'You're a rabbit, son, so I caution you againsr unrealistically high expectations.'

Suddenly the laws of nature had changed. . . . Doreen had a Magnum!

'Now, before I start, does everyone have their seat belt on?'

I gain weight every fall and then lose it in the spring. I have a seasonally adjusted figure.

'Yeacch! Did you check the expiration date on this thing?'

"You've been selling your acorns on ebay?"