Wildlife Entertainer Gifts

'Lately I've been feeling the lure of the stage.'

"You're very lucky that gazelle gives me diarrhea."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Happy Gnu Year!"

Deer Season Open.

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Too much concealer?"

"Eat me"

"I see by your resume this would be your first time in a symbiotic relationship."

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

'Pray for me.'

Giraffe Portrait

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"

Crow and fox

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

The different taste regions on a blue whale's tongue.

"Don't worry, it's not rabies: It's normal for me to foam at the mouth..."

'I've been hired by a zoologist to keep a detailed blog of my daily life,,,'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'You're not alone, Mr. Scrapp. A lot of hyenas are sensitive to laughter in the bedroom.'

'I didn't have time to hunt'

'Bernie, you're not gonna have anything disgusting to hurl at zoo visitors if you forget this.'

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"