Wilderness Expert T-Shirts

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"Cat box"

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

Deer Season Open.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"Looks like those folks from 'civilization' are back!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'Congratulations! Our yard's been declared a national wilderness area!'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

"Sorry, Pal. Sometimes nature's not very pretty."

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

Crocodile

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

"How's the salmon?"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

Kangeroo and joey

Caliologist

'Marshmallows ready! Now for the roasting...'

Hadley finds proof that bears actually don't s**t in the woods.

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'This is you, enlarged.'

"But his vulnerability is what I like about him."

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

'Wow, they don't make trees like they used to.'

Wildlife A-Z: 'Where the heck are zebras?'

I can hear growling, but I can't see the bear.

"And that's why you go on safari."