Wig Wonder Pillows

'And this one is for first thing in the morning.'

Butt Wig (Colour)

'Your toupee is on crooked.'

'I see they're having a wig sale at Carpeteria.'

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

Butterfly Woman

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Keith Floyd.

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Caliologist

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"Look at the state of this place! Don't you ever use that thing to sweep up?!"

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'

Dating in Oz

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

A Head-Dress in 1777

Death Watch

Hot dog warmer

Wise Cracker

Butterfly Woman

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Book and magician

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

Sara Sampaio

"I thought you meant a football pool."

"I could never go wireless."

Taxes

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

"It could be worse. He could be out chasing you know what."

'I've got a large disposable income.'

"I couldn't find my other wig."