Wig Wizard Pillows

Nice toupee, Dr. Kapuchnik. But … is it honest? At least a toupee is honest about its dishonesty, Al. Compared to what? A beret.

A Head-Dress in 1777

'I had that dream where I go out in public without my hairpiece again.'

'Well, I think it's very creative of the dog to make a wig from his shed hair.'

"Of course, it's MY hair - I've still got the receipt!"

Miss America IQ Pageant

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

D.I.Y

"So long, boys. I'm off to the big city to try my hand at chainsaw sculpture."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'Be patient. This summer they'll be 60 feet tall'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"At the end of the day Simon, money talks!"

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Emma Watson

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

'Always the wise guy.'

"If you could have a dinner conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

Conference Room. I don't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a compliment when the boss said "in every brainstorming session Ernie is a ray of sunshine."

On second thought, your honor

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Please restore all toupees to upright position.'