Wisdom Wizard Pillows

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Profit

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"It's a play on words."

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'